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The feed clicks on. Rather than his apartment, Milo can be seen in a hanger control room. The camera pans around, revealing him to be alone. Through the viewing screen can be seen a number of techs bustling around a Comet class frigate. Milo looks over at it, and smiles.
Surprises. They occur more often than you might think. I've had a lot since I hooked up with the Ghosts, but nothing like this.
He gestures at the Comet.
For example, actually being accepted into Ghost Festival, considering my background caught me by surprise. Losing my Ishkur for the first time caught me by surprise, as did my peers. I arrived expecting to be shunned and avoided but this is so- different.
He stops for a moment, turning back to the comet to give orders to one of the technicians, who seems to be explaining a lack of powergrid will cause issues with the weapons that need to be mounted. After about a minute of heated discussion, the technician hurries off and shouts some orders. Milo turns back to the camera.
Oh yes. The Comet. This arrived from Alillere, the nearest retail outlet that does courier contracts from Aurcel. This was sent by my parents, I'm sure of it. It- I think it means they want to speak with me. I've had no contact with them since I left Livetech. I'm pretty sure they got this to me via IHLS. If they know exactly where I'm based, I'll be worried.
He Pauses
I don't think they'll approve of my chosen career path, but they have a right to know. Even if this means rejection all over again.
The feed closes, the PRETA logo flashing on screen for a second before it goes totally blank.
The Feed Clicks on. Audio Only. There's Static, a bump, and Milo begins his Log.
Last Night was... Interesting, to say the least. I've made a mental note not to take my date to the Skyhook in future. Vince, Kelsy and Kimochi, between them, managed to make a rather large mess of things. Whilst I'm concerned for all three of them, I'm pissed that they had to be so loud about it.
Still, I enjoyed the date up to that point. Turns out she speaks Gallentean quite well, which caught me by surprise. Way better than my Matari.
He Chuckles
We had a bit of a chat about things, My past came up again, The soup was good. Well worth the wait I think.
There's a Beep sounding very much like an error notification from a datapad in the background. Milo is heard swearing in Gallentean.
I'd just settled down after finishing my Soup, feeling very relaxed, when Drama breaks out on the other side of the room. Vince had managed to get himself into some kind of Love Triangle. I don't really want to know the details. I headed back to my apartment early, after bidding Celia goodnight.
There's a flurry of keys in the background, and another Error notification sound.
She's Far too distracting that one. It's really difficult for me to keep a clear head when she's aroun- Aha!
There's another Error message, a flurry of keys and the Feed Closes.
There is a click, and static as the recording starts. Milo's voice seems calmer than it has been in previous entries.
These recordings have been a real help for me. They're another outlet that helps me stay sane.
Despite this, I still managed to lose my cool in The Skyhook after the PRETA Awards Ceremony last night. My suppression subroutines had been playing up, and Memories of Al kept Surfacing.
When they finally did start working again, I was in the most bizarre of moods. Ran into someone I'd seen in the bar a few times before, Names don't need to be mentioned as there's a possibility DED might get hold of these files, and he seemed a decent enough chap. 5 minutes after I'd met him, he'd sold Celia Nerve Sticks, and I was asking for Frentix.
Jude walked out, not wanting to get involved, and 5 minutes later, my Suppression Subroutines blew out completely.
I left the bar a wreck, ashamed, angry and wracked with guilt. Rather than taking the usual slow route back to my apartment, I used the maintenance elevators in the hope I could get back unseen.
There is a click, and soft, relaxing music is heard in the background.
As soon as I got back, I set security to maximum, and plugged myself in, purging every single kilobyte of data linked to the Suppression Subroutines from my head. I felt so much better for it, and I think I even managed to get rid of the last of the ASRS Firmware that had been hanging around in my head. It's not quite flawless yet, but we're getting there.
I can no longer hide from the problem regarding Suicide Circuits in old ASRS Implants, something has to be done before I lose more than old friends.
There is a click, and a beep from the background.
Hmm, seems Al's old Stabber has Arrived at last. Let's see what I can do with it...
There is another click, and the recording ends.
I have begun to gain trust and respect for the rest of Ghost Festival.
Even more so after last night, where the removal of my ASRS Implants caught up with me, and I was carried to medical by Celia and Zukko, After revenge for the loss on an Incursus was had , and the degree of control that Ghost Festival Pilots have in space.
I feel... Accepted. It's strange, Even in Asteri Rising people were strictly business. There were few real friendships and much Backstabbing. Even though I've only been here for a few days, PRETA are looking out for me, teaching me, and doing their best to help me fit in.
Onto the more serious matter of my ASRS Implants: I had them removed very shortly after I joined Ghost Festival, but somehow components have found themselves into my head and I seem to be getting... 'withdrawal symptoms'.
I have a horrible feeling that Kyiac. (He no longer deserves his title of Director) may have coded a suicide circuit into the implants of certain members. The majority of people with experitise in Firmware were on his side of the ASRS split, and the small number that were not have lost contact with me.
What sickens me even more was that I once gave the go-ahead to initiate a suicide circuit within a member we considered 'too liberal' He had no clone. I never thought about it at the time, but now it worries me. My behavior in ASRS was cold. Thoughtless killing took place too often, even when there was no need for ISK or self-defense.
The more I think about it, the more I can see how we were doomed to fail from the start. Ghost Festival has helped me put it all behind me now, and I can see hope on the horizon again.
Things are looking up again.
Since My last log, I have found help and employment in an... unexpected area. I was offered a position by PRETA. PRETA or Ghost Festival are an experimental project being run by the Cartel to see whether capsuleers can be bought into service by the Cartel as more than mercenaries.
Once I had passed the security checks and shifted what assets I had to their base of operations in the Bleak Lands I retired to my newly furnished apartment on the Tzvi Station. I felt far too tired to mix or interact with my new peers.
Within days of joining I have accumulated a number of kills, and have flown alongside PRETA on several occasions. As I finish this entry I can feel myself relaxing for the first time in weeks.
I think I've found my calling.
