I have begun to gain trust and respect for the rest of Ghost Festival.
Even more so after last night, where the removal of my ASRS Implants caught up with me, and I was carried to medical by Celia and Zukko, After revenge for the loss on an Incursus was had , and the degree of control that Ghost Festival Pilots have in space.
I feel... Accepted. It's strange, Even in Asteri Rising people were strictly business. There were few real friendships and much Backstabbing. Even though I've only been here for a few days, PRETA are looking out for me, teaching me, and doing their best to help me fit in.
Onto the more serious matter of my ASRS Implants: I had them removed very shortly after I joined Ghost Festival, but somehow components have found themselves into my head and I seem to be getting... 'withdrawal symptoms'.
I have a horrible feeling that Kyiac. (He no longer deserves his title of Director) may have coded a suicide circuit into the implants of certain members. The majority of people with experitise in Firmware were on his side of the ASRS split, and the small number that were not have lost contact with me.
What sickens me even more was that I once gave the go-ahead to initiate a suicide circuit within a member we considered 'too liberal' He had no clone. I never thought about it at the time, but now it worries me. My behavior in ASRS was cold. Thoughtless killing took place too often, even when there was no need for ISK or self-defense.
The more I think about it, the more I can see how we were doomed to fail from the start. Ghost Festival has helped me put it all behind me now, and I can see hope on the horizon again.