Things are looking up again.
Since My last log, I have found help and employment in an... unexpected area. I was offered a position by PRETA. PRETA or Ghost Festival are an experimental project being run by the Cartel to see whether capsuleers can be bought into service by the Cartel as more than mercenaries.
Once I had passed the security checks and shifted what assets I had to their base of operations in the Bleak Lands I retired to my newly furnished apartment on the Tzvi Station. I felt far too tired to mix or interact with my new peers.
Within days of joining I have accumulated a number of kills, and have flown alongside PRETA on several occasions. As I finish this entry I can feel myself relaxing for the first time in weeks.
I think I've found my calling.