New Ishkur

Well it seems it's time for a new Ishkur again.
After a short roam through The Bleak Lands with little event, I now found myself with the rest of the PRETA Patrol in Sosala. The Fleet consisted of frigate-sized hulls, and we had picked up a number of interesting signatures on scan.
It all seems a little hazy now, but as I remember it we caught a Prophecy-Class Battlecruiser in the Ice Field. It disintegrated under the barrage of Laser and Autocannon Fire, my drones still ripping away at the Armor plates as the unfortunate pilot got his pod out of the fight.
Then it all went wrong.
Midway through the battle, an Onyx had appeared on the scene. Commander Yishal had given the order to get range, but not to engage, as we were nearly finished with the Prophecy, and at any rate, the onyx was firing on It as well.
There is a thud, and the sound of someone swearing quietly in Gallentean. The feed cuts off for a few seconds, and then flicks back online.
Several seconds after the Prophecy went down, I realised I was not gaining range on the Onyx. The cloud of water vapour and dust surrounding an Ice Asteroid had clogged my engines, and I was now moving at a fedo's pace. Seeing this, the Onyx promptly locked me in place with a warp scrambler. I managed to keep my ship together for quite a while by maneuvering manually in a wide arc around the Onyx, my ECM drones desperately trying to break his lock. Then, the rest of his fleet arrived and my Ishkur finally gave way under fire from four ships.
I slammed a hand against the side of my capsule in frustration, and went into warp instantly.
As I load modules for my new Ishkur into my hanger, I cannot help but feel a degree of respect for commander Yishal. Despite her thoughtless behavior towards Vincent, how irritated I was with her about it, and her general lack of Charisma, It seems I will have to acknowledge that she is an excellent fleet commander.
There is a long pause, a sigh, and the recording ends.

Empathy

I have begun to gain trust and respect for the rest of Ghost Festival.
Even more so after last night, where the removal of my ASRS Implants caught up with me, and I was carried to medical by Celia and Zukko, After revenge for the loss on an Incursus was had , and the degree of control that Ghost Festival Pilots have in space.
I feel... Accepted. It's strange, Even in Asteri Rising people were strictly business. There were few real friendships and much Backstabbing. Even though I've only been here for a few days, PRETA are looking out for me, teaching me, and doing their best to help me fit in.

Onto the more serious matter of my ASRS Implants: I had them removed very shortly after I joined Ghost Festival, but somehow components have found themselves into my head and I seem to be getting... 'withdrawal symptoms'.
I have a horrible feeling that Kyiac. (He no longer deserves his title of Director) may have coded a suicide circuit into the implants of certain members. The majority of people with experitise in Firmware were on his side of the ASRS split, and the small number that were not have lost contact with me.
What sickens me even more was that I once gave the go-ahead to initiate a suicide circuit within a member we considered 'too liberal' He had no clone. I never thought about it at the time, but now it worries me. My behavior in ASRS was cold. Thoughtless killing took place too often, even when there was no need for ISK or self-defense.
The more I think about it, the more I can see how we were doomed to fail from the start. Ghost Festival has helped me put it all behind me now, and I can see hope on the horizon again.